Have a wonderful weekend everyone and thank you for visiting my blog … this is for you …
As We Slumber
Illusions …
Are just memories we hold onto.
Free Will …
Makes it possible
To not embrace the truth.
And, as we slumber in our suffering…
Kindness …
Casts its shadow
To be drawn into the light.
For Love …
Does not spin
And go nowhere.
by Kay E. Oswalt
© 2012, Kay E. Oswalt
“The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.” Confucius
I’m incited to write about current events … I have struggled with this because it takes my blog into an even sharper image of today’s youth and their willingness to be cruel. I’m blogging today about the bullying of the bus monitor in NY, Karen Klein. I was touched by her reticence to believe in the sincerity of her bully’s apology … because she felt that if it wasn’t her … their bullying would have been projected onto someone else. To feel that this was not some random act of cruelty, but an act perpetrated upon her because she was available and perceived as the most vulnerable victim of the moment, speaks volumes … Don’t you think? This display, because of social media, was for all the world to witness. We get to watch these bully’s testing how far they could take this … now let’s face off an adult and one in charge, how far do you think we can push this and get away with it?
So, where does this behavior come from? Who facilitates this kind of blatant disregard for others? I’m thinking the home front … you? Where does the idea that bullying is OK, a game, a form of entertainment come from? How blind are these parents? I know that the hectic schedules in the lives of many parents are such that the employment of that sixth sense that clues you in that something is amiss gets ignored … No excuse! Children are a responsibility and in today’s world … it takes a village.
“It takes a village to raise a child” … Hilary Clinton
Never truer then today. It takes a village, our neighbors, teachers, friends, grand-parents all lending a hand to raise our children. And yet, parents are so sensitive to the idea that little Johnny could mis-behave. Really? Come on … When I mis-behaved any one of our neighbors could give me the “what for” and my parents knew the validity of the admonishment simply in the expression on my cute little face. My mother didn’t challenge our neighbors, or my teachers about my ability or my brothers to mis-behave.
“It takes a village to raise a child” … Hilary Clinton
There is no shame in needing the help of the village. There is no integrity, however, in not facilitating a child’s growing up with every available avenue. Let’s stop tying the hands of the villagers … You can read your children’s expressions, if your are willing to look. Your children will be grateful you paid attention …
© 2012, Kay E. Oswalt
Thank you all so much for visiting my blog and for taking time out of your day to not only read but leave such wonderful comments. I am touched and honored by all of you who have shared your thoughts. So …
… If I may make a request to those of you who leave such wonderful comments …
… It would help me a great deal if you would leave your comment on the article you found interesting, helpful, worthwhile etc. This would make your feedback very interesting, helpful, useful and informative to me.
Again, thank you all for your support! K
“When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death–ourselves.” By Eda LeShan
How do parents teach their children that self-respect, self-regard and self-worth is their right of birth? If parents do not espouse to those attributes, in themselves, how can we teach them to our children? How do we help our children build self-esteem?
“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
This is so true … “in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend” … you can feel your self-worth and it feels good! It in that memory burns the light that shines in all of us. That place where we smile so easily inward, where we are warmed by the beam of self-respect and self-regard. From this unguarded moment, in our once upon a time, we must point that beacon toward the children who need us. Find your unguarded moment, feel its magic, share it and encourage your children to bounce about and swirl around in their own self-worth because:
“There is nothing so rewarding as to make people realize that they are worthwhile in this world.”
― Bob Anderson
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Feel the magic!
© 2012, Kay E. Oswalt
‘Why I love never varies … how I like … now that goes up and down.” unknown
Cry me a river…
Love … studies say that love follows neuro-pathways in our brain that help relieve pain and that these pathways are reptilian old … So, is love a primal energy that flows through us outward and back to us from outside? Is love the essence of spirituality? Is this the energy of Grace, God etc. that simply connects us all? Is love the energy that would keep our hearts open if we didn’t try to define it, control it, and think it has to look a certain way? Have we forgotten what love really is? And, because we do this forgetting, do we then live in terror of separation and abandonment?
Look up the definition of love. According to Webster there are at least 15 ways we define love alone and at least 30 other references we use it to describe a state of being as in love-lorn, toward an object as in love-beads, in the act of love-making, in a game of tennis love-match. There is the name of a poet and an astronomer; which I find fascinating because don’t we look for star crossed lovers and we express our loves lost, gained or our searching for love through poetry? And, the only reference to love in a spiritual sense is, Venus the god of love, God’s benevolent concern for mankind, and Man’s devout attachment to God. No wonder we’re confused! No wonder we debate and write about this Ad nauseam.
Do we define love in the context as something man is attempting to find outside of him/herself?
In mans attempt to assert our definition(s) of love; we are all over the place. Have we, as Human Beings, wandered so far off the path that we’ve forgotten what love is? Have we flipped from being Spiritual Beings attempting to be Human to believing we are Human Beings attempting to be Spiritual?
If love, has to look a certain way, haven’t we just contracted it, made it smaller, less than its limitless possibilities? If love has to look a certain way, feel a certain way, haven’t we just made love conditional? Wouldn’t it be lovely to believe that we do possess the ability to love under any condition? Wouldn’t it be lovely to believe that love is a God given right … this unconditional love …
So my question is … Does love have the ability to love under any condition?
If loves energy can endure under any condition, is it in the learning to like each other or to accept not liking each other where the human experience truly begins? There will be behavior we cannot condone … judgments that will surface … actions that will speak louder than words … and the consequences that result on this human playing field, good and bad. Is this where we must dig, sometimes deeply, for our ability to give and receive compassion for each other … to love under any condition?
So my question is:
Do we teach our children to understand that love is simply energy, open and available to everyone? That love is simply love.
Do we teach our children that the human experience is filled with man-made contracts that have nothing to do with love? Think about this; that jobs, parenting, mortgages, leases and the list goes on; are all temporary and all man-made.
So, do we teach our children that our attachments to these man-made contracts, could be why we feel defined by what we do and have or don’t do and don’t have are based in liking or not liking not love? And because of our attachments, to these man-made contracts, is where fear and negativity seep in to fill those holes torn in our hearts by mis-steps we’ve taken, mistakes leading us to self-judgment, feelings of disappointment, rejection and self-loathing? And, away from love.
Wow, the human experience avails us with so many opportunities to re-learn that Love isn’t contractual. Love is simply love.
‘Why I love never varies … how I like … now that goes up and down.” unknown
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Feel the magic!
© 2012, Kay E. Oswalt
… Our Tug of War within
“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
Isn’t that the truth? Why is that?
Do we not trust in our intuition? That sixth sense, when we hear our own advice and yet don’t heed it … When every nerve fiber leads us in one direction and then we go the other way … When we are instructed to act by a superior and the action goes against our moral code, yet we don’t advocate for ourselves … Why is that?
Are we overly influenced by our peers? Do we cling to acceptance … to popularity when the end result leads to feeling badly about ourselves …
Speak up ~~ even if your voice shakes unknown
Learning to “advocate” … to stand up for what you believe, to support or recommend publicly; to plead for or speak in favour of.
If we’d teach our children how to “advocate” to stand up publicly for what is right … oh what a world this would be. Bully’s would think twice, kindness and compassion could rule the day … Respect, regard and reciprocity could be the ordinary not the extraordinary.
Ask your children, why is it so hard to do the right thing? ‘Cause the truth is …
“you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” Jesus
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Feel the magic!
© 2012, Kay E. Oswalt
“Courage is not simply one of the virtues,
but the form of every virtue at the testing point” … C.S. Lewis
I love this quote because it truly defines “courage” as that stepping off point into everything we want to learn, master, and challenge ourselves in ways to grow.
Now, I know the Cardinal virtues as faith, hope and charity. The seven heavenly virtues as chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness and humility. But, I wondered, are there more? I Goggled “list of virtues” and there are 120 virtues! Here’s the link: http://www.virtuescience.com/virtuelist.html Then there are the “Twelve Virtues of Rationality” here’s the link to those: http://yudkowsky.net/rational/virtues …
So … I picked virtues that I felt were stepping points for kids. I feel en”courage”ment is more likely the ticket in facilitating our children in becoming healthy and balanced. So that when circumstances present themselves, ones that require kids to summon courage, we know we have done our best to prepare them.
Contentment: to know that where you are, in any given moment, you are OK to be right where you are. Even … if you are uncomfortable, to stop, look and listen for the lessons being presented. (not so easy)
Sensitivity: the awareness of oneself and others. To express your feelings freely, to not be ashamed to let your feelings be known and to allow others the same courtesy without judgement or ridicule. We are, after-all, individuals.
Integrity: to be consistent in your values and actions. To have faith in oneself and when circumstances call for it, advocate and stand up for yourself with confidence and self-esteem.
Kindness: to be well-meaning with friendly compassion. This virtue not only extends outward, it is as important to point it inward, embracing self-love, self-regard and self-respect. Be kind to you!
Eloquence: the use of effective language. To be willing to talk openly and candidly and to listen. Reciprocity; engaging in mutually respectful two-way conversations in conscious kindness.
Wisdom: utilizing what you’ve learned and experienced with common sense and insight. Think for yourself and learn to trust in your intuition. If it feels off – don’t, if it feels right – do.
Tolerance: to permit, allow, understand and accept. Being one with the world, unprejudiced and aware of your surroundings. This is not a one-way street, we are unique and special.
This is heady stuff, I know, and it must be shared with consideration and creativity. Have fun with it … and know, that when the time is right, you will know how to put it to good use. Look for the opportunities …
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Feel the magic!
© 2012, Kay. E. Oswalt
“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself ” unknown
Insecurity, who hasn’t felt it? Self-doubt can lead even the most admirable to boasting and sometimes loudly so, because they fear not being seen or heard over their self-constructed walls.
Protection, who hasn’t felt the need to be protected? We protect ourselves with walls. You don’t really know me ’cause I have no doors for you to open, no windows for you to peek through. Therefore, I don’t have to open my world to you and sadly I’m protecting myself from yours.
Courage, who hasn’t felt the lack of it? Veiled by calling it shyness, awkward, bashful, timid and quiet. Wanting to fit in but feeling inadequate and flawed …
“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself ” unknown
There are bully’s out there who’ll tear you down … for sport. They are mean spirited and all of these attributes apply to them. They are insecure, they protect themselves by picking on others so you won’t look too closely into their world. Bullying doesn’t take courage because the very thing bully’s see in those they pick on … they see in themselves. They lack the courage to come out from behind their walls and show their vulnerabilities.
Don’t be fooled by the Bully.
Remember when a Bully bullies/judges you …
“A Bully’s judging you,
does not define who you are.
It defines who they are” unknown
And … don’t bully yourself, don’t be hard on you … be your own best friend!
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Feel the magic!
© 2012, Kay. E. Oswalt
“Conversation … a road leading to unlimited possibilities … let’s learn to share our worlds … it creates magic” Kay E. Oswalt
Conversation … defined as … an informal exchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons.
Think about this, to share with another through the spoken word …
“What if, there is really one language……one that we all understand. Would we love one another then?” excerpt from the poem “What If” by Kay E. Oswalt
To sit with another and share, a mutual exchange, borne of respect, acceptance and tolerance. We need to do this not only with other adults, but with the children in our lives as well. Children want a bit of your time in order to share their world with you and yours with them in gentle ways.
It is my goal, through my books Fred Threads, to encourage conversation … to take a bit of time to open worlds to the magic of the spoken word.
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Feel the magic!
© 2012, Kay. E. Oswalt
First, I want to reiterate that I am a Mother and a Grandmother … and all that implies. I hold no degree, a plaque does not hang outside my door, I make no claim to have answers, just a lot of questions.
Lets ponder and have some weekend fun!
“You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild to pick up a book and read to a child”
Dr. Seuss
To sit quietly next to a child and read a book together opens their world to adventure, learning and bonding with you, opening your world to them. What child doesn’t want to share your world?
To inspire a child to read a book on their own and then talk about what they’ve read, with you, opens their world to you. What parent or grandparent doesn’t want to be let in?
This road leads to unlimited possibilities … let’s learn to share our worlds … it creates magic.
Get back to me! Did this inspire you to talk to your child? Give a book a chance……
© 2012, Kay. E. Oswalt
